your shedu realization
it's there
it's inside it
this 'best' true version
what's very frustrating is that it's there cuz you made it (or picked it out of the collected observations and impulses and experiences that are 'you' -- whatever)
the shedu
'it was right there the whole time'
the exercise at business school
being good at words [lean into that]
but then facile way
if you're doing a thing with words, if it's words words words words
they are bullshit! they are not real things! they are signifiers, they are this construct we've made--that is miraculous fun beautiful important--but that is nonetheless just a series of shadows of actual things, meaning either material or abstract but real 'love'
and i'm familiar with the idea that our perception and cognition is shaped by words; i.e., that it also goes in the other direction
as a 'words person', this thrills me. this idea that you in fact perceive more shades of red (really; not in some made-up 'feeling' way, like these are empirically different shades) if you know the words for them [i think that example particularly struck me because i am pretty good at words language but awful at color; frequent conversation
JAMES: yeah no the red bag.
JAMES' VISUALLY SUPERGIFTED SISTER: ...
JAMES: the...fucking, the red ba--
JAMES VSS: The pink bag.
JAMES: the...fine.
JAMES VSS: that is pink. it's not close.
JAMES: fine.
I don't have some perceptual idiosyncrasy to fall back on here, btw; or I don't believe so and have never tested for one. I'm just, for lack of a better word (words!), stupid at colors. ANYWAY.
so this basic challenge of words are your vehicle
and sometimes, to some extent, your topic
a HUGE part of what beats at the heart of Erra for me is what we need in narrative and fantastical reconstructions of events that we (meaning: humans. always forever; the whole time we've been us) construct in order to try to make sense of ourselves and the world; so to that extent words-in-themselves and things-that-are-made-of-words are indeed your topic
but...unless you're writing a book like this
they are nonsense!
they are bullshit!
they are a blind alley! a duck blind! (no not that). a red herring! [] [] []
you're making a movie. you're making ___ (not the second one; also, example given in drop-headed sorrow at recent)
that is truly what you are doing in that
the thing in your heart that you are expressing is courage and virtuous connection; pushing your mental limits in an active and engaged way; the limn where what we understand and what we cannot meet, as it always does for all of us no matter what we think, and the stories we use and tell to navigate that shoreline and sometimes traverse it, travel out over depths of what-we-cannot-ever-know; velocity; friendship
that's a knobby way of saying it, but seriously that's like a very similar set of concerns as...I don't know, ___
that's what you (I) want to elicit in the reader
i'm not trying to put prose below movies in a hierarchy here; i am trying to use a non-verbal example
just
the tools by which ___ achieved these things are [] and [] and [] and []
and your tools are words
parallel the problems
admittedly, there is a whole different kind of thing
that's not what you're writing!
that is maybe a distinction between "awesome" and "art"
not that art is not awesome
but art is interrogative and...meta, in its examination of its own form
this is a bullshit word because
dickens
shakespeare
[]
[]
entertainments
i'm writing an entertainment
i'm trying to make it good enough, tbh, this is really what i'm trying to do
point being: f*ck you and your dumb little words. they are vectors; they are tools; they are starlight to ride and the moment they fade
or they flicker too bright so the reader says, "oh, hey starlight"
you have not done your job
your ego
or your lack of skill
or your lack of confidence (same as ego, many times)
have tripped you up
be braver and work harder and put in more time
you'll make it good
you'll use few enough words
and the right words
work.
it's there
it's inside it
this 'best' true version
what's very frustrating is that it's there cuz you made it (or picked it out of the collected observations and impulses and experiences that are 'you' -- whatever)
the shedu
'it was right there the whole time'
the exercise at business school
being good at words [lean into that]
but then facile way
if you're doing a thing with words, if it's words words words words
they are bullshit! they are not real things! they are signifiers, they are this construct we've made--that is miraculous fun beautiful important--but that is nonetheless just a series of shadows of actual things, meaning either material or abstract but real 'love'
and i'm familiar with the idea that our perception and cognition is shaped by words; i.e., that it also goes in the other direction
as a 'words person', this thrills me. this idea that you in fact perceive more shades of red (really; not in some made-up 'feeling' way, like these are empirically different shades) if you know the words for them [i think that example particularly struck me because i am pretty good at words language but awful at color; frequent conversation
JAMES: yeah no the red bag.
JAMES' VISUALLY SUPERGIFTED SISTER: ...
JAMES: the...fucking, the red ba--
JAMES VSS: The pink bag.
JAMES: the...fine.
JAMES VSS: that is pink. it's not close.
JAMES: fine.
I don't have some perceptual idiosyncrasy to fall back on here, btw; or I don't believe so and have never tested for one. I'm just, for lack of a better word (words!), stupid at colors. ANYWAY.
so this basic challenge of words are your vehicle
and sometimes, to some extent, your topic
a HUGE part of what beats at the heart of Erra for me is what we need in narrative and fantastical reconstructions of events that we (meaning: humans. always forever; the whole time we've been us) construct in order to try to make sense of ourselves and the world; so to that extent words-in-themselves and things-that-are-made-of-words are indeed your topic
but...unless you're writing a book like this
they are nonsense!
they are bullshit!
they are a blind alley! a duck blind! (no not that). a red herring! [] [] []
you're making a movie. you're making ___ (not the second one; also, example given in drop-headed sorrow at recent)
that is truly what you are doing in that
the thing in your heart that you are expressing is courage and virtuous connection; pushing your mental limits in an active and engaged way; the limn where what we understand and what we cannot meet, as it always does for all of us no matter what we think, and the stories we use and tell to navigate that shoreline and sometimes traverse it, travel out over depths of what-we-cannot-ever-know; velocity; friendship
that's a knobby way of saying it, but seriously that's like a very similar set of concerns as...I don't know, ___
that's what you (I) want to elicit in the reader
i'm not trying to put prose below movies in a hierarchy here; i am trying to use a non-verbal example
just
the tools by which ___ achieved these things are [] and [] and [] and []
and your tools are words
parallel the problems
admittedly, there is a whole different kind of thing
that's not what you're writing!
that is maybe a distinction between "awesome" and "art"
not that art is not awesome
but art is interrogative and...meta, in its examination of its own form
this is a bullshit word because
dickens
shakespeare
[]
[]
entertainments
i'm writing an entertainment
i'm trying to make it good enough, tbh, this is really what i'm trying to do
point being: f*ck you and your dumb little words. they are vectors; they are tools; they are starlight to ride and the moment they fade
or they flicker too bright so the reader says, "oh, hey starlight"
you have not done your job
your ego
or your lack of skill
or your lack of confidence (same as ego, many times)
have tripped you up
be braver and work harder and put in more time
you'll make it good
you'll use few enough words
and the right words
work.