Sunday, June 10, 2018

Crowbar

[[May the great gods bless you always,
may the heavens & earth calm your mind.]]

Reader -- it's I, humble scribe. Your humble scribe.

Here is how this will work.

A timer is set for 71 minutes. At that timer's conclusion, these words will be posted. Etched into clay for (lol) posterity. I, their poor and inadequate author, will be permitted to add links to any words that must go out to the webs; perhaps if, in doing so, I see a literal word that is literally missing I will be allowed to supply it. I will be honest about that, and limit myself to that.

That's all.

Let's go.

Quoted immediately below is an introductory digression that was written when there was all the time to write this (and, consequently, it sat unfinished for weeks). You could skip it, perhaps should! But it will remain -- in full candor.
I had wanted to do this like, perfect. Like: "wow." Thoughts fully formed, novel & familiar, about (ahem) 'the process.' Arguments, observations, feelings, granularities of the transmission through prose of event, person, experience. I wanted this to be good because I wanted it to be useful to you; because I was and am aware of an inherent selfishness in my own motivations, a solipsistic unburdening
So, but, oh well. Fair warning: these thoughts aren't fully formed; they're not novel; they probably are familiar. 
Basically, what you're getting is the solipsism. In which--who knows--perhaps you will also find pieces of you. 
Here we go.
I want to write about something I've taken to calling crowbarring. Meaning, basically, 'forcing in, in an ill-advised and undesirable way.'

Here's an introduction, in the form of me losing my $h1t @ myself.

These are selected notes from various unspecified locations of a read-through I recently completed of (the latest drafts of) [[the first five columns of Erra's Throne.]]

o my G*d
you're just adding more stuff
all this is just adding more stuff
no more
write

NO it doesn't work, James. This way of doing it, sneaking it in with "good" writing because it's ostensibly an observation that builds world and character The observation rings hollow, because it's the product of ulterior, expositional motives And the exposition is not even clear it's dishonest, and the reader knows; even if she does not know, she knows

you want to put in a note re: all these efforts, each time, where you try to crowbar in information
and do something "interesting" or formally cute, as if that will make it okay
it does not
it is crowbarred in nonsense
who cares if they get the Sibitti stuff
who cares if they…anything backstory, backdrop
surely, obviously — none of that matters
all of these things are wrongheaded
and you know it!



my gosh it's so bad
it's so an agenda

[note: the following comment is about a different, apparently equally unsatisfactory, scene]

it's broken
you broke it
it was probably broken before, to be fair
but you broke it more

w/ your threads
and your seeding

only immediate story
it's not an ideology
it's a fact
only immediate story — anything else: fail

Alright, we're back from the reading notes, now. Ah who cares. Who cares? Who cares, who cares, cares? Do you care? You should not. Okay but no: keep going.

There are several things going on in the stream of notes, above. They are reactions against
(1) crowbarring itself, i.e., the forcing of elements into the story; but / and / also
(2) the cutesiness and nonsense that I--your humble scribe, that's me--am frequently guilty of throughout the first seven or eight or nine drafts of a thing (and, in some sad awful cases, in the drafts that are pressed into clay for your eyes).

The two notes that are red, by the way, are red basically because I got so mad. What happens is: I am reading the story on my Kindle; I make one, two, three four consecutive notes regarding the wrongheadedness or  selfishness or narcissism of some crowbarred in detail, scene-beat, or whole scene; and when it's that last one--when it's a whole scene--basically the contempt pops my cap and I write a big note in red.

A challenge in addressing this tic to "crowbar", to add too many things, is that it or it feels like two separate impulses, one of which is good and one of which is bad.

The bad one-- well actually, both may be addressed more in subsequent posts. But let's start with the bad one, which is the narcissist 'world-builders' impulse to 'get it all in'; this idea that the reader should know or should care about details of whatever alternate reality the work is set in that are outside the story. The idea that--because some aspect of that world was breathed into the author's mind by the gods--a reader would or should care at all about that.

That idea is upsetting (to me!).

But the good idea is: you want things to be clear. It's really that simple. You want things to be clear, and so 'well perhaps it would be good to introduce these facts here'-- or, honestly, it's not even that calculated. You'll simply be writing or revising, and in the natural flow will find a digression inserting itself, the idea being to explicate facts / events for the Reader.

you've used up 35 minutes


When you crowbar bad facts
The reader STILL will not get them
They won't fit

It's like throwing puzzle pieces that don't fit
On top of a puzzle
No one will get them

They don't go in the picture
And the picture is...if you can convey even that, then you're grand

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Cutting Prince?

Reader:

Hello! Welcome into the week. May yours be productive, purposeful, and true.

Let's structure this entry the same as the last, namely

raw notes ⇒ Reader: "???" ⇒ explication by scribe

Herewith, therefore: raw notes.

humble scribe

o g*ds i cut prince i cut prince i cut prince!

following the text! like a curse! i cut prince!

am i going to cut him, completely forever?

yes.
when he appears, he appears.
like a quest.

+ also, the refrain: it's right. not just right, but right: solves problem down the line; makes things better.
if only this took less time!

cutting prince: something clicked — cutting out everything that is not A-plot; A A A 

not because there is no worth in the fullness
and the geeking out, "what about joy aristottle" holds
sort of
because TELLING THE A-STORY IS HARD ENOUGH
and if that fails then…honestly. then it's all masturbation. [the gods displeased; something]

separate
the stuff you cut — it's not all  bad
e.g. "Harder at altitude, in fact: gusty Wind."
this is useful! and it's not, like, an awful sentence.
so…why cut it?

These notes are drawn from the "workpad" I run during writing; the "humble scribe" at the top is a tag that alerts me that this is (rather: could be) an entry herein -- an entry herein, as distinct from the mess of pieces of dialogue, macro structural ideas, micro structural questions, and whatever just notes all related to Emmy and her ongoing story, which otherwise clutter that workpad up quick.


writing: good self editing tool

your instincts are good -- how you throw it all in
you're "throwing" smart stuff in

buuuut then it's overwritten, right? it's a big packed mess
but those "first thought best thought" pieces may indeed be the best pieces

say there are 4 of the in your first three sentences

her eyes flicker
she rubs the back of her hand with her wrist
she snuffles
blink, blink, focusing

they're your arrows
just you've stupidly, unrevisedly, shot them all out the gate
(we're deliberating sidestepping another ready metaphor here, because this blog is not a craven adolescent cesspool, thank u vry much)
but they're good thoughts!

don't HOLD ON to any
take 'em out, they are gone

buuuuuuuuut -- keep in workpad
work 'em in as you go

of course you'll have to change syllable count and perhaps swap synonyms for vowel sound or syllabic emphasis

but i don't need to tell you that, at this point