basic, very high level thoughts on the 2nd - 7th or 8th time around
latter times -- syllabic count, phonemes, poetry, gems
these times simpler:
respect for the reader's time, attention, and pleasure.
things that are (upon reading) obviously unclear; sometimes even unclear to you, upon revisitation, although to be fair that's unusual. more often, though: clearly unclear to like, anyone else
making things faster, without making them worse (i.e., faster, but just as clear).
one of the most common changes is like: fehns sees a thing; she [introduce knives]; other thing (often, dialogue); then Fehns [does a thing with her knife that is cool and action-oriented].
a super common change is that second bracket gets bumped to the spot of the first -- nothing is lost, you still clearly establish "knife" and its identity, and it may even give you room for a straight-up expositional note further down that does not feel dumb/clunky, and the story moves along much more quickly. these add up. i mean, they add up so much like: the difference between something that is briskly and satisfying paced and something choggy and bad.
saying things in fewer words. this is just as it is. not the same as above. above is moving [chunks], images, beats. this is literal phrases, the stuff within []. just: eleven times out of ten, you used way too many words first time round. if i gave this blog the same treatment i give erra prose, as i've written before here, it'd be idk...2/3s shorter? a lot shorter.
latter times -- syllabic count, phonemes, poetry, gems
these times simpler:
respect for the reader's time, attention, and pleasure.
things that are (upon reading) obviously unclear; sometimes even unclear to you, upon revisitation, although to be fair that's unusual. more often, though: clearly unclear to like, anyone else
making things faster, without making them worse (i.e., faster, but just as clear).
one of the most common changes is like: fehns sees a thing; she [introduce knives]; other thing (often, dialogue); then Fehns [does a thing with her knife that is cool and action-oriented].
a super common change is that second bracket gets bumped to the spot of the first -- nothing is lost, you still clearly establish "knife" and its identity, and it may even give you room for a straight-up expositional note further down that does not feel dumb/clunky, and the story moves along much more quickly. these add up. i mean, they add up so much like: the difference between something that is briskly and satisfying paced and something choggy and bad.
saying things in fewer words. this is just as it is. not the same as above. above is moving [chunks], images, beats. this is literal phrases, the stuff within []. just: eleven times out of ten, you used way too many words first time round. if i gave this blog the same treatment i give erra prose, as i've written before here, it'd be idk...2/3s shorter? a lot shorter.