Saturday, December 2, 2017

show vs. tell example(s)

early draft
He stowed the window. They'd work out the rest: strategize amongst themselves & in the riot of chat; Pm & B/w, bickering. Jake habitually conjectured re: mutual attraction in cases such as theirs. 
At any rate, they'd do that. 
He'd do this.
later draft
He'd let her know out of respect[...]
Respect, also, for process.
The difference between a guild with leet players and a leet guild, Jake would say, is process.
Of course—Jake would add, half-smiling—y'need leet players, too.